Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
