First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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