I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
