thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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