I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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