i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
