If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
