OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This is the high leading the old right now
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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