we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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