I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize