id be glad to
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
