Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
