hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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