You're so nebulous sometimes
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
should my penis look like a turkey
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
