Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
