I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just gift wrapped bread.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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