she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
