I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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