rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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