careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
