you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
