I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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