Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
