Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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