When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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