butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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