Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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