no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
