birth control should be required to get into college
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
