Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
