it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
