dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
