i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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