I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
