You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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