"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
