i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bring money and cleavage
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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