So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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