If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
