HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it because I queefed?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
