Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
