There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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