He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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