The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
