Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
