I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
