so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
