When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
