I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
