google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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