My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
