hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
