We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
